User blog:Edwin Shade/Don't Drink and Derive

There once was a individual by the name of Jed,

Who would grudgingly solve math homework problems before bed.

On a night most strange he was striken by lightening,

After trying some assigned physics problems most frightening,

After that he gained an ability beyond measure,

To pursue all of Mathematics at his mind's pleasure.

This event had turned him into a great savant you see,

So in a second he could count to 3003.

He won consecutive math Olympiads everywhere,

And was subsequently treated with respect and great care,

For all the renouned Mathematicians wondered just how,

Jed could so easily outcompute the fine Terrence Tao.

At one such contest he shared a paper only a page long,

Proving Reinmann was right and the Collatz Conjecture wrong.

Sitting down he demonstrated grand proofs and truths galore,

While drinking root beer in a square glass and asking for more;

He shared intresting facts till at the table he was alone

And having called it a day, he decided to go home.

As he was driving he began to swerve and fell asleep,

And died when the car fell over a cliff a mile deep.

Even with all of Jeb's mathematic repertory,

There is an obvious issue which he did not forsee,

That when into a square glass is poured typical root beer,

The root is then squared and you are simply left with the beer.