User:Low Spark of Lyman

Hi! My name is Low Spark of Lyman, (Tim Kearns IRL), and I am a proud User of Garfield Wiki.

In addition, I support myself with a perfectly legal homosexuality "assistant" business. To pitch in or make personal appointments, visit me at 87 Byam Rd in New Boston, New Hampshire. If you're exceptionally good looking I'll cut my rates by half. It's 20$ for a blowie, 40$ for a hand job, and 120$ for the whole boyfriend experience. My clients all have positive testimony, so why not give me a try?

My bedroom name is the "witch-doctor", because after a few minutes I'll have you yelling "Ooh-ee-ooh-ah-ah-ting-tang-walla-walla-bing-bang!".