User blog:Edwin Shade/Will Determine What This Blog Should Be For Later

Recently I have made a blog post detailing how to exploit the wiki badge system for your own advantage. If you scroll down to the comments section of that post it is clear it has caused some irritation among members of this community who rightfully consider it pointless, and having to do very little with Googology.

For the blog post and my actions in exploiting the achievement board I sincerely apologize. I will never let my actions interfere with the ability of people on this site to use it. If Cloudy176 believes it necessary, I am even willing to be banned for a short while for this.

There is something though I will say.

I remember a few years ago I was in line waiting to go into the school building there were some individuals I felt comfortable with, and after telling them I played Minecraft on the computers at the library, one of them laughed at me and said to his friends: "Can you believe that he goes to the library to play Minecraft, how pathetic !". I admit I was hurt by this, and it made me feel like less of a normal person. After all, normal people play video games at their own home, and can play whatever they'd like. Normal people have a life - which, by the way, I have been asked if I even have a life before, and that hurt me to.

Another time I was trying to encourage three people my own age who wanted to commit suicide, and there were two people who mocked me in my efforts. One outright persecuted me and seemed to consider his own words of no consequence, he told others to cut themselves and showed no feeling for others. The other looked down on me and told me he found my blind faith amusing, and he would often make condescending comments towards me.

So when PsiCubed2 and Cookiefonster made rude comments like "It doesn't take much of a brain—maybe minimal knowledge of how Wikia source code works—to come up with this "trick"." or "I'm sure you guys have better things to do than to cheat your way up on a leaderboard that means nothing. Or maybe do things that actually have to do with large numbers."; it only reminds me of all the times I've been asked if I have a life and all the times I've been talked down to, all the time it felt doing the right thing never amounted to anything, and most of all, how I failed to save the ones I cared for the most at the time.

From now on I will not be pushed around or stepped on, even in what is least. I'm sick of being the good person, the person that cowers before a confrontation, who is always caring what others think. I'm sick of my life and I hate myself the way I am. Fuck it. I only came on this site to share my love of mathematics and large numbers, and since I can't even seem to that properly, I'll cool down my edits for a while, and respect your wishes to a certain degree. But the instant anyone tries me I will not hold any punches. If I see comments that ought not to be made I will say something.